


The true you

by ClawOfTheNight



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Asexual Dean Winchester, Biromantic Dean Winchester, But he's trying, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Cute Dean, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, M/M, Non-Binary Dean Winchester, Nonbinary Character, Not Canon Compliant, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), no beta we die like castiel, sam doesn't understand, set some time after purgatory, they/them pronouns for Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:07:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29309313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClawOfTheNight/pseuds/ClawOfTheNight
Summary: Dean knew they weren't a guy.They knew they weren't a girl either.They didn't know they were non binary but luckily they have their angel to tell them that.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 23





	The true you

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! This time I did non binary Dean because I felt like it and I feel although its not very in character for him to be non binary its quite a fun thing to unpack.
> 
> So here I am.
> 
> If you like non binary stories this is my fourth one, the other three are non binary Cas.
> 
> What can I say, I'm non binary so its like,,, the only thing I write.
> 
> This isn't beta'd, all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> I also wrote this all in one sitting while I was supposed to be doing work but instead I was having a gender crisis.

Dean knew they weren’t a girl, but they weren’t a guy either. They knew that for a fact. They didn’t know how they knew that, they just did. It was 2021, they could like to cook and clean and still be a guy, or like cars and beer and be a girl. No, it was nothing to do with what they liked, and more to do with what they were, on the inside. And Dean Winchester knew, on the inside, they were just Dean.

They had tried to explain it to Sam a few years ago, but they had barely started before Sam had just signed and said, “Dean, liking ‘Womanly Shit’ doesn’t make you any less of a man. It’s fine to like what you like, grow up dude.” He just didn’t get it. They had tried a few more times, but they could never get the words out correctly, and Sam could never understand.

So they buried it.

They hid the fact that they weren’t a dude. They hid the fact that although they didn’t mind he/him pronouns, they didn’t make them happy in the same way they/them did. He/him just wasn't, it wasn’t quite them. They hid behind exaggerated gender norms and a fake macho man persona.

But Cas knew.

Cas always knew, he saw it in their molecules while putting them back together. Saw it in their very being who they were. 

And he accepted them for it.

Dean didn’t know Cas knew, not for a long while, not until they were dating. After purgatory, they had finally realised Cas might not always be there, and they decided they couldn’t live with that. So they kissed him, made him theirs in the way they were already wholly his, and never looked back.

But one night, while cuddling in bed, Cas finally confronted them. “Why do you hide who you are? You are beautiful, all of you.”

Dean just blinked at him, staying quiet. He didn’t know, he couldn’t know, not about that. Could he? 

“Why do you hurt yourself by forcing yourself to sleep with people you feel nothing for. Why do you hide behind a fake person when who you are truly is so perfect. why do you hide the beautiful soul of yours Dean Winchester.” 

For a long while they didn’t respond, they just buried their head in Cas’ shoulder like an ostrich with its head in the sand denying what was coming. “Because I’m broken.” They whispered.

“I don’t like sex, not really. Sure it's fine, but I don’t crave it, and it's nothing to do with the person or gender, I have never really cared about the gender of the person. The people I’ve had crushes on have always been a mixture of genders for as long as I can remember, its not to do with the person, its to do with me. I’ve never wanted to have sex with anyone, not in the way people always describe it, I’m just following through on what my Dad always told me I should do, hoping one day I’ll be the son he always wanted but I know I never can be, because I’m not even a guy. I tried, Chuck I’ve tried.” They were sobbing now, “I can never be the son my Dad wanted, the brother Sam used to look up to, because I’m not a guy. I don’t know why I’m not, except I’m just not, I’m broken.”

Cas pulled them impossible closer, running his hands through their hair. “You aren’t alone Dean, there are others like you. I’ve met many like you through my travels on earth.” He leant forward, whispering in their ear, “You aren’t broken. You aren’t alone. You are Biromantic. You are Asexual. You are Non binary. You are perfect.”

\---------

Cas’ words stuck with Dean for days afterwards, although they weren’t quite sure if they believed it, could there be others like them?

It took 3 days for them to build up the courage to google it.

Biromantic  
A biromantic, asexual person is romantically attracted to people of multiple genders, but experiences little to no sexual attraction.

Asexual  
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction to others, or low or absent interest in or desire for sexual activity. It may be considered a sexual orientation or the lack thereof.

Non binary  
Non-binary is a spectrum of gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine—identities that are outside the gender binary.

They stared at the screen, memorising the definitions before deleting it from their search history, they didn’t want Sam to know, not just yet. It was too new, too fragile, Sam could easily break it underfoot with some misinformed words or misplaced helpfulness.

Was Cas right, were they Biromantic, Asexual, Non binary?

Maybe, maybe they weren’t alone. Maybe they weren’t broken.

\---------

It wasn’t brought up again for a while, Dean was still trying to process the new names he suddenly had for the parts of them they always thought were broken, they were still trying to process the fact they apparently weren’t broken at all. Cas was content to let them have all the time they needed to get their head round their identity, but always made sure they knew they weren’t alone.

It was actually when they were cuddling on the sofa that Dean finally got the courage needed to speak, what could they say, they felt bravest buried in Cas’ arms.

“I think, I think you were right.” They whispered, barely loud enough for Cas to hear, “About me not being broken, about me just being slightly different.”

Pulling them fully onto his lap, Cas kissed their forehead before responding, “Of course you aren’t broken, you’re you.”

Dean sunk fully into his embrace, “I think, I think I want to tell Sam. About being Biro-Ace, and being enby, and about using they/them pronouns.”

Cas ran a hand through their hair, “You sound scared honey, I’m sure your brother will love you whatever.”

They snorted slightly, “I tried to tell him before, before I knew it had a name, but back when I just knew I wasn’t a guy. He didn’t want to hear it, he just told me liking womanly stuff didn’t make me less of a man and wouldn’t listen to what I was trying to tell him.”

“I’ll make him listen.” Cas said, in such a tone that Dean was certain he would. “Would you like to do it today or a different time.”

Dean sighed softly, “Can we do it this evening at dinner, I don’t want to chicken out, I just want it out in the open.”

With another kiss on the forehead, Cas responded, “Sure, we can do it then, do you want to cook or order in?”

“I’ll cook, it’ll help me take my mind off it.” 

\----------

Dean decided to cook lasagne, not too difficult to cook so they wouldn’t ruin it if they got distracted, but still one of their favourite meals.

With both Cas and Dean cooking they soon had the table set, a salad on the table, and the lasagne and garlic bread in the oven.

It was nearly time.

“I’ll go tell Sam food is ready, you just breathe, it’ll be ok. I promise.” Cas said reassuringly, pulling them into a hug and dropping a kiss on their forehead.

Dean took a deep breath in, then out. They could do this. They had Cas. He would listen, and if he didn’t accept them, then that’s their fault.

They waited until everyone had food and was eating, and then decided they had procrastinated enough.

“Sam,” They said, voice not as strong as they wished it was, “I’m not a guy.”

Sam just laughed. “Dean we’ve been other this, cooking doesn’t make you any less of a man.”

“No but-” They tried again, but Sam interrupted again, “No stop it Dean, I thought you had got over this, stop being sexist.”

Cas had had enough, “Sam.” He nearly shouted, voice stern, “Listen to your sibling or so help me, I will make you.” His voice left no room for argument, “Carry on Dean,” He said at a much more reasonable volume.

Dean cleared their throat, starting again, “I know liking cooking, or cleaning wouldn’t make me any less of a man if I ever was a man, the point is I’m not. I’ve never been a man. I’m not a man, I’m not a woman. I’m- I’m non binary.”

Sam stared at them for a bit, “What do you mean you aren’t a man, of course you are.”

“No,” Dean whispered, losing confidence, “I’m not, and I can’t explain it, I’m just not.”

Sam laughed, “Next you’ll be telling me you don’t like sex.”

“I. I don’t. Well, I don’t hate it, but I don’t crave it, or even want it all that much. I’m a biromantic asexual non binary.”

Cas took their hand under the table in silent support.

“And I use they/them pronouns.”

They saw the confusion blooming on Sam’s face, he didn’t get it.

“I don’t understand,” Sam started tentatively, shooting a scared look towards Cas who was glaring at him, daring him to say something mean, “But, I don’t feel what you feel. You do. So I’ll take your word for it. I’ll mess up, but I’ll try.”

“That's all I’m asking, that you accept me and try.” They rounded the table and pulled Sam into a hug, he didn’t understand, but as long as he didn’t try to tell them who or what they were again, it would be fine.


End file.
